To the Ruins
by nightrobin2424
Summary: Greg never knew it could hurt this much, and moving on was the hardest thing to do. Nick/Greg slash.


To the Ruins

A/N: Well it's been a little bit, but I've had this in my head for awhile. This was hard for me write, but it would not leave me alone. I am normally one for happiness and fluff, but with the mood I've been in lately this is what came out. I hope you enjoy. The lyrics are from You Ruined Me by JC Chasez.

_**I could be the first to let you know**_

_**That nothing means anything**_

_**Now I'm standing here outside your door in the pouring rain**_

_**And I can't believe**_

_**Nothing's supposed to get to me**_

_**Now I'm in this misery**_

He pressed his back against the wall trying to blend into the crowd, not wanting to be seen. Everyone thought he wasn't coming, no one ever knew the reason why. He preferred it to be that way so he could watch his entire life break apart right before his eyes, in peace, alone.

_"You love me Nick?" _

_"Of course I do Greg, don't be silly."_

_"I just…I just thought."_

_"Thought it was just a fling?"_

_"Yeah." Greg blushed._

_"Never, not with you Greg." Nick said as cupped Greg's cheek kissing him softly. "I do love you."_

_"I love you too."_

The man sighed as he wiped at his eyes, why did he even come? To make his heart break just a little bit more? To find the closure he was desperately seeking?

_"Is that the new CSI?"_

_"Yeah her name is Riley."_

_"Riley huh?"_

_"She seems nice."_

_"Yeah nice." Greg snorted. "Look at the way she's eyeing you."_

_"Greg baby don't worry she's nothing compared to you."_

_"You sure?"_

_"Positive." Nick said as he snuck in a quick kiss causing Greg to smile. "Now there's that smile I love."_

"Do you Nick Stokes take Riley Adams to be your lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health?"

"I do." The words broke his heart, but what else did he expect that Nick would realize the mistake he was making and come running back to him, that only happened in movies and this was not a movie and Greg would have no happy ending.

_"Why are you so late?"_

_"Riley and I went out for a drink after work is that a crime?"_

_"No, but I was expecting you I had everything planned, I guess you forgot."_

_"Forgot….Oh Greg I'm sorry."_

_"It's ok; it's only our one year anniversary." _

_"Greg I didn't mean it, it's just Riley asked and…"_

_"It's fine." Greg waved it off no matter how much his heart was breaking. "I'm going to bed."_

_"No please." Nick said as he grabbed Greg by the wrist. "Stay." Nick's breath was warm against his neck and he could never resist. "I'll make it up to you."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Cross my heart."_

_"Then start making up." Nick grinned at him and swept Greg into a long, hot kiss._

_"With pleasure."_

"Do you Riley Adams take Nick Stokes to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health?

"I do." Her smile was so big and so bright and even though no one knew he was there he could have sworn she smiled right in his direction, the smile that said 'I won.'

_"You've fallen for her?"_

_"I'm sorry G, I never wanted this to happen I just…"_

_"We've been together for more than a year Nick! You said that I was yours forever, that I would always be the one and now it's all lies! Were you lying when you said you loved me all those times too?"_

_"No, I do love you Greg."_

_"Then why are you doing this to me Nick? Why are you killing me?"_

_"She's something else Greg, and I can't stop this feeling. She's my chance at something real."_

_"And what was this?"_

_"Greg…please understand you and me it's not conventional."_

_"Oh now I get it, you've been talking to your parents again and they keep riding you about when are you going to settle down with a nice girl because you can't tell them that their precious son has been shacking it up with some for more than a year!"_

_"Don't bring them into this, this is my decision Greg."_

_"No this is your parents decision Nick! You know how right we are, how good it feels when we're together."_

_"It's wrong, Riley is right, Riley is everything I ever wanted."_

_"You once said that to me, do you remember? Right when started this, you cupped my cheek in your hand like this." And he moved to Nick cupping his cheek. "Looked into my eyes and said: You're just everything I ever wanted Greg and then you kissed me." Greg took the moment and pulled Nick to him, kissing the life out him trying to make him see all that he was _

_giving up. Nick didn't resist and he let Greg kiss him breathless, exploring the mouth he knew so well._

_"You want to give this up?"_

_"Yes." Greg pulled back as if he had been burned, turning his back to Nick._

_"Fine, I hope you're happy."_

_"Greg please I hope we can…"_

_"Stop, stop right there don't you dare say I hope we can still be friends because right now I don't want to even look at you let alone go back to being your friend. Just leave please."_

_"Greg…."_

_"Leave!" he screamed throwing the nearest object at the wall. Nick didn't say anything more and Greg didn't move until he heard the door shut. Slowly he stood up and picked up the broken picture frame he had thrown. He picked up the picture and crumpled it in his hands as he slid to the floor sobbing._

"You may now kiss the bride." He had to close his eyes, he couldn't watch this because he knew it was all over now, this was the end Nick was fully out of his reach now and even though they had not been together in over a year this hurt more than anything in the world.

_Greg groaned as he rolled over reaching for his phone as he blinked his eyes. Even though he had been on the day shift for awhile now he was still not use to it. Miami had been a good thing though because there was no way he could have stayed in Vegas especially when Nick and Riley got serious._

_"Sanders."_

_"Hi Greg."_

_"Sara it's so good to hear your voice."_

_"Yours too."_

_"What's up?"_

_"I thought you should hear this from me."_

_"What?"_

_"Nick and Riley are getting married." He almost dropped the phone, because Sara had not just said that, but he knew she would never lie._

_"Oh….that's um…that's nice."_

_"I'm so sorry Greg."_

_"No it's ok I mean we haven't been together for a long time and really I'm over him."_

_"You are?"_

_"Yes truly." He swallowed hard. "In fact I've got a good thing going on here."_

_"Really Greg that's great."_

_"Yeah, tell him… tell him congratulations for me."_

_"I will, when are you coming to visit Greg."_

_"Someday, goodbye Sara."_

_"Goodbye Greg." He clicked his phone shut and then threw it against the wall. In all reality he had not moved on, he tried oh did he try but it seemed Nick ruined him because everyone he met he compared to Nick. He supposed he was doomed to a life of loneliness because he could just not get over Nick Stokes._

_**I can't be with anyone since I felt our worlds collide  
It's like I almost died  
The way you make me feel  
I'm changing, got me breaking down inside  
Baby can't you see, you ruined me  
For life**_

He made his exit when the clapping started not wanting to be seen, that wasn't his intentions and really he didn't know why he came. It did nothing to help him, to see that Nick really had moved on, it just broke his heart even more right down to the core. It was all over now, really truly over and now it was time to try and move on, to lick his wounds back in Miami and drown his sorrows in alcohol.

_One week later and he had almost forgotten what Sara had told him until his phone rang again and it was not Sara on the other end._

_"Sanders."_

_"Hello Greg."_

_"Nick."_

_"It's been awhile."_

_"Yeah it has._

_"I guess you know then."_

_"I do I'm really happy for you."_

_"I know when you're lying."_

_"Well what do you want me to say Nick? That I hate the fact you're marrying her, that my heart still hurts even though you're thousands of miles away from me, that I think you're making a big mistake by trying to please everyone but you."_

_"I love her Greg and I'm sorry if you can never accept it."_

_"That's fine, but what I'll never accept is the fact you lied."_

_"I never lied Greg."_

_"You lied when you promised me forever; you lied when you said you loved me."_

_"I told you I was never lying when I told you I love…loved you."_

_"You said love…"_

_"No Greg, loved you…it's over."_

_"Then why did you call Nick? Why did you call me?"_

_"I…I really don't know."_

_"I have to go Nick; I can't do this right now."_

_"Greg…."_

_"Have a nice life Nick." He shut his phone before Nick could say anything more. He closed his eyes as the tears coursed to his cheeks, why after so long could Nick Stokes still get to him?_

He was almost home free, so close to getting away but he knew he would never be that lucky.

"Greg."

"Hi Nick." He looked so handsome in his tux and Greg had a hard time resisting the urge to just throw himself in Nick's arms to relax in the familiar warmth.

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know really."

"It's good to see you."

"Yeah." Greg swallowed. "You too."

"Greg…" It was whispered and it reminded Greg of the days when Nick would just hold him in his arms after they made love and whisper his name in his ear, whisper words of love and protection. "You were right."

"What?"

"You were right."

"Right?"

"About everything about me, seeing you Greg it just brought out everything. I care for Riley I really do, but I'm still in love with you." Greg gasped for air, it was everything he had been waiting for, but no matter it could never happen not now.

"It's too late Nick." Greg croaked out. "You married her, you had all the time in the world and God I would have taken you back in a heartbeat, but you're married now and no matter how much I love you Nick I won't ruin that."

"I'm not asking you to, I'm asking for forgiveness, I know I hurt you Greg, and it's too late to fix all the mistakes I made, but I want you to move on Greg to have the life you deserve to be yourself and not what others want you to be. I made my bed now I have to lie in it, please move on, please forget about me and be happy. I want you to be happy."

"I can't be happy Nick, I haven't been happy in such a long time."

"You will be, you can do this, you were always the strongest one. I will always love you Greg Sanders, always and forever that was never a lie."

"I love you Nick." Greg sobbed no longer able to hold it back. He felt Nick's strong arms wrap around him, and he breathed in the moment, wanting to hold on for as long as he could.

"I hope we do collide again someday Greg, but we have to say goodbye."

"I know Nick, I know." He let Nick cup his chin and he let Nick kiss him softly, taking his time drawing it out.

"Goodbye Greg."

"Goodbye Nick." Greg stood there as he watched Nick walk away back the life he never wanted. Greg watched until Nick's figure faded into the distance. Nick was right, he had to move on, to finally get over this and maybe one day they would meet again. But today, today was the day he started living again.


End file.
